I’m noticing a trend that isn’t settling with me. It is the “God meant for people to reject you” trend; "justifying" why people don't have any friends, are lonely, and should accept it as a cross to bear. Although this can be true to a very small degree, fulfilling friendships are important to God (Ecs. 4: 9-12). There are different reasons why some friendships fail. Sometimes love, patience and forgiveness needs to be exercised. Othertimes communication needs to be clear. Sometimes it's them. And sometimes it's you (that's another blog)! Then there is a need to understand and embrace the different seasons, purposes and levels that friendships can be.
I have been “rejected” numerous times. In the midst of my hurt, God opened my eyes to a perceptive that has given me peace and allowed me to really love people unafraid. I remembered reading the account of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemeny (Mathew 26:36-46; Mark14:32-42; Luke 22:39-46). I cannot imagine the anguish He felt knowing the torture His body was about to go thru, the abandonment He was about to experience from the One who has been His everything; and the shame He was about to endure. He entered that garden needing support and assurance. Before entering the garden, some disciples he left at the gate, others went into the garden with Him and then finally He went a little further alone to pray. A few things I find amazing about this moment:
1) Jesus understood the depths of His relationships. He understood and embraced those people who were His aquantinces and His friends. They all "hung-out", however He understood only few could go in with Him.
2) Jesus withdrew on His own accord. People, no matter how well intentioned, are not meant to go with you all the way. There is a place where you must go alone with your Father. It is in that place where He can speak to you and strengthen you in ways that only He can. NOTE: this is not a pass to cut people off for the sake of “getting closer to God"!
3) Jesus didn't take it personally when He came back from praying and found them sleeping. He understood that their spirit was willing but the flesh was weak. He didn't allow bitterness to set in.
More often than not, people are not “haters” but they are not designed to walk your walk. They aren't designed to go specifically where you were meant to go.You were intricately created for this specific purpose, this specific time, this specific combination of purpose, that has never been, is not, and will never be duplicated. No one can walk your walk. That is a burden you can't put on anyone; wife, husband, mother, father, friend, sister ...they were not designed for that walk!
More often than not, people are not “haters” but they are not designed to walk your walk. They aren't designed to go specifically where you were meant to go.You were intricately created for this specific purpose, this specific time, this specific combination of purpose, that has never been, is not, and will never be duplicated. No one can walk your walk. That is a burden you can't put on anyone; wife, husband, mother, father, friend, sister ...they were not designed for that walk!
There is an expectation of unconditional love, faithfulness and loyalty on people that only God can fulfill. If we really embrace this understanding in love, how many hearts could be healed, relationships repaired, bitterness uprooted, love, patience and forgiveness exercised, confidence grounded and established? Let us grow to love unhindered and unafraid. Will you get your feelings hurt? Probably! But because you have the right perspective you will be able to dust yourself off. Neither regretting giving the love you gave nor blocking the ones to come!
Lashan, this is AWESOME! So profoundly true! Great post!
ReplyDeleteVery well written. I believe also that when we learn to not be judgmental to those we claim to be our friends we can developed a more meaningful friendship and not create loneliness for them or yourself. Often times we are quick to conclude that a person has such a busy life that they may not have time to spend with us. When all alone it only takes a simple step to invite that person in as to the kind of life God has called us to. Though, some may not accept the invitation, it does not mean to withdraw yourself either. Just keep being a friend to that person through encouragement and support. We don't give up on them. Jesus never give up on us when we betray him, lied on him, and prosecuted him. He showed love to us by laying down his life for us. So doing likewise to those we love should not create a sense of loneliness, but rather an understanding for both parties, loving one another as God loves us.
ReplyDeleteWow! First Lady You just leveled me UP! You just gave me the perspective I needed. THANK YOU for being you, for always bettering yourself, for sharing your insight, for everything!
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